I watch a lot of standup comedians because a) hilarious, and b) as a guide for how to craft a simple brand message – as an elevator pitch, a positioning statement, mission statement, whatev.

Keep it tight, have a point, and hit the landing – zero fat. Simplifying something is harder than it looks.

Great comics – Dave Chapelle, Jerry Seinfeld, Ali Wong, so many others – don’t just throw a bunch of words around and hope they stick like spaghetti to a wall (Who does that anyway? Oh, wait . . . )

Comics that kill hone, tighten, test, perform, and write a joke down to its absolute essence.

That’s how it works with elevator pitches, too.

The other day I was watching Bill Burr’s “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way” (2014) on Netflix. There was a disclaimer at the beginning, something about if you don’t like political incorrectness, don’t watch.

Well, I watched.

He told a story about a sign he saw at a bar that was utterly politically incorrect.

Burr admitted the topic was touchy, but he said: “That’s a perfect joke. It has zero fat.”

Every word is where it belongs and nothing extra muddies the message.

I was like, DAAAAAAAMN – ZERO FAT ELEVATOR PITCHES!

So, my friends: If you were going to say what you do with ZERO fat, what would you say?

Here’s mine: I teach entrepreneurs to say what they do so they attract clients and make da monies (16 words, 85 characters, clear and complete).

Your turn. I believe in you.

You can do it. I believe in you. Need help? Let’s Talk!